Why I can't quit.

I've had some very intense and overwhelming times in my 3 years here, especially this year, and the advice I constantly get is to quit something, to cut down. I've realized that I'm tired of being constantly busy and would love more time to really delve into a few of my favorite classes and to spend more time with people I won't get to see nearly as much after graduation.

The problem is, I can't quit. I love my activities, and I love being involved.

lacrosse: The first activity people tell me to quit is lacrosse. I just started it this year, it takes up about 4 hours of my week, and it will take up numerous weekends starting next month. I can't quit lacrosse though. I love being a part of a team again, I love the sport itself, and most importantly, I love my teammates. I refuse to ditch out on them, and I have had such a blast getting to know them! It's one of my only activities that I don't do with my closer friends, and I love that little escape from my world and the chance I've had to meet some different, absolutely wonderful people. I can't quit lacrosse.

the Cardinal: I am editor in chief. I would hope that would be enough reason to explain why I can't quit the Cardinal. I love being able to take what I've been learning in class for 3 years and applying it to something real. I love seeing my name in print, and I absolutely love helping underclassmen improve their writing and seeing their progression throughout the year. It's amazing to see how quickly they improve, and it makes me realize how much I've learned over the years. I also like finding new information on campus (or as new as anything at SMU can remain) and providing that information for others. I can't quit the Cardinal.

SAC: I'm on eboard, and although I'm sure we could find a replacement publicity co-chair, I think that would be an unnecessary hassle for the whole club. SAC was my absolute favorite activity freshman year, and it was one of my favorites last year. It will always hold a special place in my heart. I love asking other students on campus what kinds of events they'd like to see and being able to tell them that I can actually suggest those ideas to the committee. I love being able to prepare activities for other students so they can just show up and enjoy, and I love the people I've met on SAC. I've met some of my closest friends through SAC (well, through SAC and Kelli, but SAC was still really important there). Plus, I designed the logo for the t-shirts we're getting this year. :) I can't quit SAC.

senate: Again, I'm on eboard. It wouldn't be right for a vp to just quit. Besides, I love it. I love being on university committees and really being able to represent the students and students' needs. I love knowing everything going on around campus and having a real say in things. I love being a part of decision making and having some sense of control over what happens to my fellow students and me while we're here. It may take up more of my time, but it is definitely well worth it. I can't quit senate.

senior class gift committee: Meetings are short and only once a week, and Bob encouraged me to go because he actually wants the busiest students on the committee. I'm excited to be able to discuss the needs of students in general while coming up with the class of 2010's gift. We get to leave our own little legacy, and I'm very happy to be a part of that. I can't quit the class gift committee.

volunteer mentors: Service has become a very important part of my life. It's my biggest connection to the Lasallian mission of the university, it's how I feel God's presence the most (well, that and while I'm enjoying nature), it's how I've met some of my closest friends/strengthened my relationship with others, and it's how I feel most like a truly productive and compassionate member of society. I love helping other students find that connection with volunteering, and I love talking to students about their volunteer experiences and encouraging them to keep it up. I can't quit volunteer mentors.

TEC: TEC is basically done for me, but I still feel the need to talk about it. It was very time-consuming to organize this year's TEC, and being a leader this year required much more energy than being a table leader did last year. TEC is where I most strongly feel a sense of community and belonging. I first felt a connection to SMU when I went on TEC freshman year, and that connection is still there. I have met so many amazing people through TEC, and I am very grateful for my experiences in the 4 retreats I've been a part of. My relationship with God has gotten so much stronger through TEC, and I've been able to better understand the Lasallian values we learn about in our LCT classes. I could not have quit TEC.

TRBD: The benefit dance is one of the most amazing things we do on this campus, and I am very proud to be a part of it. It is the epitome of our Lasallian mission to take what we have and give it to someone in our SMU community who is in need. I love seeing everyone come together to help while also enjoying the festive celebration that is the actual dance. I can't quit TRBD.

phonathon: It may have started out as a much-needed job, but phono has become much more than that. Again, I have met some amazing people through phono, and I have gained a lot of confidence in talking on the phone (which was one of my biggest fears at the start of the year). I love talking to parents and alumni and hearing how much the university still means to them so many years later. I've heard great stories of people's time here, and I've heard how their time here still affects their lives now. I've heard the saddest stories of financial struggles followed by a generous pledge. It is one of the most heartwarming things I do here at Saint Mary's, and it has completely taken me by surprise. I may need the job and the money that comes with it, but even without that, I can't quit phonathon.

I have had to drop a handful of activites and organizations on campus, and each has been a brutal decision. I have gotten so much out of my extra-curriculars, and that's why it's not as easy as quitting something. I can handle a little stress every now and then. It's worth it for the friends, life lessons, and overall experiences I've gained from my activities.

What can I do for SMU?

How have I really contributed to Saint Mary's University? What lasting impact have I made in my three years here? I've always thought I've accomplished a lot, even with one fewer year under my belt, but now I'm wondering if I could have done more.

There could have been another Cardinal editor in chief. There were plenty of other applicants to be Volunteer Mentors. Someone else could be a publicity chair for the Student Activities Committee. Molly could have chosen another co-chair for the Taylor Richmond Benefit Dance last year, and Beth could have asked Molly to head the 10th Anniversary Committee this year. There are plenty of others on the Senior Class Gift Committee, and Bob could have hired someone else for Phonathon. Anyone else could have run for student senate vice president for academic affairs and done just fine. The lacrosse team would survive without me. Someone else could have been asked to co-lead the TEC retreat too.

I have had to quit Habitat for Humanity, PR/Business Club, intramurals, and sports webcasting because of a lack of time, and FAC seems to have disappeared completely.

If I hadn't decided to do a fundraiser for Haiti and used Volunteer Mentors to get it going, I'm sure someone else would have. Others have done fundraisers already.

So what have I really done for the university? How have I left my mark? Why am I here? What can I do with my last four months?

I feel like it would have been easy to not be in so many activities and spend all my time doing homework, hanging out, working, and letting others take care of events and activities for me, but that's just not me. Not only that, I think I've gotten a lot more out of the Lasallian mission of the university out of my involvement and the service activities I've been able to take part in. I had never even heard the term Lasallian before coming to SMU, and now I feel like it is a very important thing in my life.

I know that I want to continue to volunteer for the rest of my life, and I know that I have a better awareness for those less fortunate than me who need my help. I have a very strong bond with my inner community at SMU, and I can hardly think of anyone here whom I despise. I also think my faith is stronger than it ever could have been had I not come here and participated in some of my activities.

I have gotten a lot out of Saint Mary's in my three years here. Now I have about four months to figure out how I can give some of that back. I don't want to leave any unfinished business here in May.