My past is really important. I learned a lot of lessons, and it basically made me who I am now. That doesn't mean I should sit and dwell on it all the time. I do anyway. I'm not sure why. In high school I spent a lot of time thinking about middle school. Now I never think about middle school but find myself thinking about high school fairly often. I don't think about it in the same way though...
I used to think about high school in terms of what I missed and little things that would be worth going back for. Lately it's been the opposite. I think about why I shouldn't have liked it as much as I did. I think about how emotionally straining it was and how much drama there really was, even though I always thought I avoided the drama pretty well.
I think I got really stuck in high school and the hierarchy and the pressure to be someone I thought I needed to be rather than the person I was. I thought I was being myself, but in retrospect I realize just how much I was acting to please others or make myself feel better.
I've always worried way too much about things that don't end up mattering that much. I always think they're important, but then later I realize just how much I overreacted. I think too far ahead or worry about things that would work out just as well without freaking out. I'm going to try to learn from that and not worry so much anymore. I've already stopped worrying about guys and all that because I know there's nothing to worry about yet. I'm going to stop worrying about finding my dream job and just focus on getting through school and finding new experiences. I'll look into a career fair or two, but otherwise I'll keep my options open and not try to plan the future today. I won't overcommit myself, even if I want to be involved. I have so many interests that it's really not reasonable to expect to fit it all in. I'm going to keep the ones I have leadership roles in that I really enjoy, but I need some time for breathing too.
.........It would be nice to have time to breathe. So far this semester that hasn't been a problem. I really don't think my classes will cause me much stress, and I think as long as I keep up with the better study habits I finally started to pick up the end of last semester, I'll be fine.
I think it's about time I start switching some of my framed pictures to more recent ones.
...Ok, 7:45 philosophy class tomorrow... time to go to bed. :)
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
New semester, continued
I had the rest of my second semester classes today.
Environmental Biology actually doesn't seem too bad, for a science class. The professor said the lab was not as much about experiments as experience. We'll spend a lot of time off-campus observing the environment. I think this was a good choice for my lab class. I hate experiments.
Principles of Public Relations... I don't know about that yet. There are some people in the class that I already know are going to be annoying. I'll give it some time.
Art Foundations seems alright. The professor is really nice, and I think it will be fun.
Practical Grammar will definitely be my easy A. I couldn't remember some technical things, like names of things, but all I need is a refresher (like, even a reminder of what the options are) and I'll be good to go. The whole grade is based off quizzes, and there is no cumulative final.
I think this semester will be better than I originally anticipated. ......I hope.. :)
Environmental Biology actually doesn't seem too bad, for a science class. The professor said the lab was not as much about experiments as experience. We'll spend a lot of time off-campus observing the environment. I think this was a good choice for my lab class. I hate experiments.
Principles of Public Relations... I don't know about that yet. There are some people in the class that I already know are going to be annoying. I'll give it some time.
Art Foundations seems alright. The professor is really nice, and I think it will be fun.
Practical Grammar will definitely be my easy A. I couldn't remember some technical things, like names of things, but all I need is a refresher (like, even a reminder of what the options are) and I'll be good to go. The whole grade is based off quizzes, and there is no cumulative final.
I think this semester will be better than I originally anticipated. ......I hope.. :)
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
New semester
The semester from hell has begun. Classes don't seem so bad so far, but it's only the first day.
I had Philosophy of Person at 7:45. I actually felt pretty awake (as opposed to right now), and we got out pretty early. I need to find the book in the library to read the chapter on Plato for class on Thursday since my book hasn't arrived yet. The professor already cancelled class next Tuesday, which made me very happy.
Stats was... ok. I've gone four semesters without a math class, so it was a little weird to take one again. The professor has a very strong Minnesotan accent and wears way too much makeup, but she seems nice. We'll see what happens there. Of course we already have homework, so I had to buy the book to do that, leaving about $10 in my checking account. I have until Tuesday to return the book for full price, and I'm expecting the one I ordered to arrive by the end of the week. I did get my homework done quickly and easily.
Nutrition won't be a problem. It's half a semester, 0 credits, and has no tests or readings. I just have to make sure not to miss more than 2 days of class to pass. (It counts as a gym class, so it's pass/no credit)
I didn't have my lab today, which was nice. I went to lunch after class, worked out, and took a nap. Then I hung out in my room chatting with Sara a bit before leaving for my meeting.
The Cardinal editor meeting went way too long. I missed the Volunteer Mentor meeting, and we didn't really discuss a lot. The new copy editor and I might be going to a convention in Bloomington later this month. We made fliers announcing our next meeting and put together an email to be sent out to everyone. Danielle and I talked a little bit about how we're going to divide our Editor in Chief duties. All that took over two hours. I was late meeting Kelli, Molly, Jody and Beth for dinner too. It wasn't that bad, but it was a little frustrating missing other obligations when time isn't being used all that well. I'm going to try to be really organized and efficient as Editor in Chief next year (easier said than done, I know). At least we didn't have Senate today.
Now I'm at work. 8-11. I've been here for an hour and haven't done a thing. We've gotten three calls, I think. Now all the games are going to end at the same time, and it's going to be chaos.
I think I need to drop a few activities and obligations this semester. I haven't made a Habitat for Humanity meeting since the first one, and volunteering does about the same thing, so that will probably go. We don't really do anything in FAC (Future Alumni Committee), which has me tempted to keep it, but the uncertainty of it all really frustrates me. That one will probably go too.
I'll keep the Cardinal, obviously, now that I'm co-Editor in Chief. I'm still doing PR for SAC (Student Activities Committee). It looks like I could be the co-chair of the benefit dance too. I can't quit Volunteer Mentors either.
I'll try to give tours during the day, and we're going to see how I handle coaching speech. The newspaper job stays too.
Like I said, it's going to be the semester from hell.
Work's picking up now. :)
I had Philosophy of Person at 7:45. I actually felt pretty awake (as opposed to right now), and we got out pretty early. I need to find the book in the library to read the chapter on Plato for class on Thursday since my book hasn't arrived yet. The professor already cancelled class next Tuesday, which made me very happy.
Stats was... ok. I've gone four semesters without a math class, so it was a little weird to take one again. The professor has a very strong Minnesotan accent and wears way too much makeup, but she seems nice. We'll see what happens there. Of course we already have homework, so I had to buy the book to do that, leaving about $10 in my checking account. I have until Tuesday to return the book for full price, and I'm expecting the one I ordered to arrive by the end of the week. I did get my homework done quickly and easily.
Nutrition won't be a problem. It's half a semester, 0 credits, and has no tests or readings. I just have to make sure not to miss more than 2 days of class to pass. (It counts as a gym class, so it's pass/no credit)
I didn't have my lab today, which was nice. I went to lunch after class, worked out, and took a nap. Then I hung out in my room chatting with Sara a bit before leaving for my meeting.
The Cardinal editor meeting went way too long. I missed the Volunteer Mentor meeting, and we didn't really discuss a lot. The new copy editor and I might be going to a convention in Bloomington later this month. We made fliers announcing our next meeting and put together an email to be sent out to everyone. Danielle and I talked a little bit about how we're going to divide our Editor in Chief duties. All that took over two hours. I was late meeting Kelli, Molly, Jody and Beth for dinner too. It wasn't that bad, but it was a little frustrating missing other obligations when time isn't being used all that well. I'm going to try to be really organized and efficient as Editor in Chief next year (easier said than done, I know). At least we didn't have Senate today.
Now I'm at work. 8-11. I've been here for an hour and haven't done a thing. We've gotten three calls, I think. Now all the games are going to end at the same time, and it's going to be chaos.
I think I need to drop a few activities and obligations this semester. I haven't made a Habitat for Humanity meeting since the first one, and volunteering does about the same thing, so that will probably go. We don't really do anything in FAC (Future Alumni Committee), which has me tempted to keep it, but the uncertainty of it all really frustrates me. That one will probably go too.
I'll keep the Cardinal, obviously, now that I'm co-Editor in Chief. I'm still doing PR for SAC (Student Activities Committee). It looks like I could be the co-chair of the benefit dance too. I can't quit Volunteer Mentors either.
I'll try to give tours during the day, and we're going to see how I handle coaching speech. The newspaper job stays too.
Like I said, it's going to be the semester from hell.
Work's picking up now. :)
Monday, January 5, 2009
Classes start tomorrow. :( I go almost non-stop from 7:45 to 11:35, but then I'm done! (Most Tuesdays I'll have a lab in the afternoon, but not this week.)
I think I'm about ready for this semester to kick my butt. 17 credits, gym, 3 jobs, and my many activities (including a change to co- editor in chief of the cardinal and adding the dance committee) will be probably the biggest challenge I've come across yet. I'm really going to have to manage my time well and stay on top of things!
Hmm... I should put some stuff away and go to bed soon.
I think I'm about ready for this semester to kick my butt. 17 credits, gym, 3 jobs, and my many activities (including a change to co- editor in chief of the cardinal and adding the dance committee) will be probably the biggest challenge I've come across yet. I'm really going to have to manage my time well and stay on top of things!
Hmm... I should put some stuff away and go to bed soon.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
If anyone asks, I'm packing right now.
Isn't it weird how you can tell when a friendship is going to change long before it happens? Isn't it even weirder how you try to avoid it, even when it appears more and more inevitable? Isn't it even weirder than that when you finally, suddenly, randomly come to terms with it?
I did not expect to be sitting around packing and cleaning (aka putsing around online) on my last Saturday of break. This whole day has kind of been a bust. I didn't even feel like going to the gym. (I also won't have time tomorrow or Monday, so I basically got 3 of my free 7 days)
My family is annoying me today. It's one of those days where I just feel like I need my own space and independence. I really can't wait to get back to Winona on Monday.
So I should really pack.
:(
I did not expect to be sitting around packing and cleaning (aka putsing around online) on my last Saturday of break. This whole day has kind of been a bust. I didn't even feel like going to the gym. (I also won't have time tomorrow or Monday, so I basically got 3 of my free 7 days)
My family is annoying me today. It's one of those days where I just feel like I need my own space and independence. I really can't wait to get back to Winona on Monday.
So I should really pack.
:(
Friday, January 2, 2009
So far, so good
I'm loving 2009 so far... not that you can really evaluate a year based on two days, but still.
Today was a really good day. I got to sleep in a little, went to the gym, went ice skating, went to Caribou, and spent some good quality time with my grandma.
I think this year is going to be pretty great in general. I can't think of why not, besides a seriously hectic schedule this coming semester. I think I can keep up a positive attitude. :) Things are really falling into place quite nicely, with just the right amount of chaos.
I love my life :)
Today was a really good day. I got to sleep in a little, went to the gym, went ice skating, went to Caribou, and spent some good quality time with my grandma.
I think this year is going to be pretty great in general. I can't think of why not, besides a seriously hectic schedule this coming semester. I think I can keep up a positive attitude. :) Things are really falling into place quite nicely, with just the right amount of chaos.
I love my life :)
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Welcome to 2009
My one official resolution is still to be happy with who I am. I'd say I'm generally there already, but there are still those days when I just don't feel good enough for my own standards (and I have pretty high standards for pretty much everything).
I don't think I want to be a journalist anymore...? I love writing and finding information, but I also like stability and a more controlled office-type environment. Goodness I change my mind a lot, I know. I just feel like there are so many other things I could do that might be more... comfortable? Reporters, and even editors, don't make a lot of money. They work irregular hours and even work weekends. I don't think I want that, especially way down the road when I have a family and whatnot.
I've been thinking a lot about my options... I feel like I have many, and that makes me feel a lot better. I've been looking up so many different companies and grad schools. I'm also trying to think about ways I can study abroad... namely, international grad schools. I'm also trying to figure out what exactly I would study. I have plenty of ideas... I just need to think about what would be the most practical and the most useful. There are so many things that interest me, and I really do like learning new things. I think it'll be easier to study more in grad school without my many clubs and activities too. As long as I'm focused primarily on my studies, I think I could be pretty successful with just about anything that isn't math or science. I'll probably do something business-related (maybe international business).
It's weird to change directions so quickly. I was so gung-ho about journalism and working for a newspaper. I think I get a little carried away when I'm excited about something and don't really think things through completely. I'm still very happy majoring in journalism. I'm learning many important skills and could probably get a job at many non-newspaper companies anyway. I still think I could like working at a newspaper, but I'm not so sure it's what I really want anymore. I'm still hoping to get that internship at the Pioneer Press. I think it would definitely help me figure some stuff out. However, I won't be quite as devastated if I don't get it. It's only fair that such a great opportunity go to someone who really wants to write for a newspaper.
I'm going to have a lot to think about for the next year at least. I think I'm also going to resolve to make good, responsible decisions in 2009. It's about time I really start acting like an adult (while still having fun, of course!).
I don't think I want to be a journalist anymore...? I love writing and finding information, but I also like stability and a more controlled office-type environment. Goodness I change my mind a lot, I know. I just feel like there are so many other things I could do that might be more... comfortable? Reporters, and even editors, don't make a lot of money. They work irregular hours and even work weekends. I don't think I want that, especially way down the road when I have a family and whatnot.
I've been thinking a lot about my options... I feel like I have many, and that makes me feel a lot better. I've been looking up so many different companies and grad schools. I'm also trying to think about ways I can study abroad... namely, international grad schools. I'm also trying to figure out what exactly I would study. I have plenty of ideas... I just need to think about what would be the most practical and the most useful. There are so many things that interest me, and I really do like learning new things. I think it'll be easier to study more in grad school without my many clubs and activities too. As long as I'm focused primarily on my studies, I think I could be pretty successful with just about anything that isn't math or science. I'll probably do something business-related (maybe international business).
It's weird to change directions so quickly. I was so gung-ho about journalism and working for a newspaper. I think I get a little carried away when I'm excited about something and don't really think things through completely. I'm still very happy majoring in journalism. I'm learning many important skills and could probably get a job at many non-newspaper companies anyway. I still think I could like working at a newspaper, but I'm not so sure it's what I really want anymore. I'm still hoping to get that internship at the Pioneer Press. I think it would definitely help me figure some stuff out. However, I won't be quite as devastated if I don't get it. It's only fair that such a great opportunity go to someone who really wants to write for a newspaper.
I'm going to have a lot to think about for the next year at least. I think I'm also going to resolve to make good, responsible decisions in 2009. It's about time I really start acting like an adult (while still having fun, of course!).
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