"Life ain't always beautiful; sometimes it's just plain hard. Life can knock you down, it can break your heart. Life ain't always beautiful; you think you're on your way, and it's just a dead end road at the end of the day. But the struggles make you stronger, and the changes make you wise, and happiness has its own way of takin' its sweet time."

It's time to gain a little perspective

Sometimes I feel like the most selfish, petty person in the world. I complain about some of the most trivial "problems" a person could have while there are people in this world who do not have sufficient food or shelter. I worry about hurtful words while some people literally dodge bullets. I get upset when I feel lonely because my friends and family aren't always as supportive as I feel they should be while some people are truly alone without any family or any support of any kind.

My biggest problem right now is that my sister is mad at me for auditioning for EDT. Meanwhile, there are hundreds of people dying of cholera in Haiti because they've had to live in unsanitary tents since the deadly earthquake that struck in January - 9 months ago. People in Indonesia are burning and suffocating to death in the ash, gas and heat of an errupting volcano. Innocent people in war-torn countries are injured or die in bombs. People are washed away in tsunamis. Many lose their homes and everything they own in hurricanes.

I have grown up in quiet, friendly Minnesota. I've had everything I've needed and then some pretty much handed to me on a silver platter. I went to school and graduated from a private university. I had a job right out of college and have insurance and a steady income. I spend my money on frivolous things like fancy coffee, "cute" boots and way more clothes than any person really needs. I have my own car and live at home, rent-free, with plenty of food provided to me. I have a huge support system of family and friends. They might not have come to my marathon or shown the most interest in every one of my many endeavors, but they're there when I need them most. They really care about me and aren't afraid to be honest with me, even if it temporarily upsets me.

It's so easy to lose perspective and believe that my trivial issues are worth my complaints, but I really need to get over that. My time would be much better spent figuring out what I can do for others. Of whom much is given, much is expected, right? I have definitely been given a lot. That makes for some pretty significant expectations...

"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself."

Life ain't always beautiful, but it's a beautiful ride

Wanna hear a secret?

Lowering your expectations of people doesn't prevent disappointment if - deep down - you still have those expectations. You can't trick yourself into expecting less in the secret hope that people will surprise you. It doesn't work that way.

You also can't just say you don't care about something to prevent yourself from getting hurt if it doesn't go the way you'd hoped. If you care - even if you say you don't - you will still get hurt.

There's no such thing as not getting your hopes up.

Bite your tongue

You know what I have always found interesting?

Your friends will often tell you that you should feel free to talk to them about anything that's bothering you. You should be able to trust them with your deepest, darkest secrets, and you should be able to vent to them about the things that annoy and frustrate you, even if they're trivial things. However, my experience has been that sometimes those same friends don't want to hear about the things that annoy you if they don't pertain to them. Sometimes they'll let you vent but won't actually listen. Sometimes they decide that you're a negative person in general just because you're stressed and have no proper outlet for your frustrations. Sometimes they just really don't care about what you're talking about and don't want to hear about it, even if you really need to talk about it.

So then to deal with this problem, you learn to not talk to your friends about things that bother you if they have nothing to do with them. You keep it to yourself to keep your friends happy (and to hopefully get them to stop calling you negative or bitter just because you were overwhelmed and stressed for a given amount of time).

Then your friends get upset with you for not sharing with them, for not trusting them. They feel hurt that you feel you can't talk to them. Or maybe they're upset because they don't want to be seen as a bad friend... it's always hard to tell.

It's an impossible, interesting, frustrating cycle.

I know I say it with every plan, but the more I think about it, the more excited I am about going for an MBA. I'm not concerned with power or authority or making more money. I just want to be able to put myself in a position in which I can actually make a difference and have a say.