Wednesday, April 14, 2010

I've been in a less-than-chipper mood the last few days. Okay, I've been a little moody in general since spring break ended. Being away from my classes and responsibilities for a while was nice, and having my own room - my own space - again was nice. I'm just feeling really homesick and am seriously lacking sufficient 'me' time. Maybe that's why I'm never really productive when I have large chunks of time during the day (like now). It's the only time I have to myself to do what I want to do and/or watch what I want to watch without having to compete with what other people want to do. As stubborn as I can be, I'm not one to make a big deal about noise or music or tv or other little things that bother me. That's a little surprising (even to me) considering the things I do turn into a big deal... at least with my closest friends. I guess I'd rather be a little annoying about things that don't affect them than start some kind of argument over something that does have to do with them.

I want to run, but I want to take advantage of my time alone in the village. I suppose I should clean since we're apparently having two visitors this weekend, with one coming today (all of which I found out last night). I should work on homework too... and the Cardinal. I should run to the store for stuff I'm running out of. I want to nap, but I should maybe just make some coffee instead. I want to go for a 4 hour walk like I used to do when I had so much on my mind, but a) I don't have that kind of time, and b) if I'm going to walk, I might as well run. I wish I had time for both.

I'm rapidly losing motivation to train for and run my marathon. I've already gotten so far behind, and I just don't like what a chore running has gotten to be. I still love it, but when things get busy and I'm fighting to fit it into my schedule in my only "down" time, it's really hard to enjoy it. If I had nothing else to do it'd be a different story.

I just feel really... blah.

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