I've always had a plan. I've always had some kind of answer to any question I found myself asking. That's why it's so hard for me to be okay with not knowing what I'll be doing after graduating in 10 months. I've learned to really like going with the flow and just living life without being too preoccupied with set plans and rigid goals, but I feel like I've lost all of my motivation. I used to consider myself an ambitious and competitive person above all. I used to worry about money and prestige and power. Now I just want to know that I'll be able to do something that actually means something. I want to be sure that I have a reason to go to work every day. I want to know that I won't get bored within a month. I don't want my job to get in the way of my life and family. I want to be a soccer mom. I want to be active in my kids' lives, and I want to have energy for life when I get home from work. I also don't want work to be something to pass the time and earn money. I want to believe in what I'm doing.

I know what I want in life, to a certain extent (and I don't need to know any more about that just yet), but I don't have the slightest idea what I want to DO. I know who I want to be, but I don't know what I want to be.