Life ain't always beautiful, but it's a beautiful ride

Wanna hear a secret?

Lowering your expectations of people doesn't prevent disappointment if - deep down - you still have those expectations. You can't trick yourself into expecting less in the secret hope that people will surprise you. It doesn't work that way.

You also can't just say you don't care about something to prevent yourself from getting hurt if it doesn't go the way you'd hoped. If you care - even if you say you don't - you will still get hurt.

There's no such thing as not getting your hopes up.

Bite your tongue

You know what I have always found interesting?

Your friends will often tell you that you should feel free to talk to them about anything that's bothering you. You should be able to trust them with your deepest, darkest secrets, and you should be able to vent to them about the things that annoy and frustrate you, even if they're trivial things. However, my experience has been that sometimes those same friends don't want to hear about the things that annoy you if they don't pertain to them. Sometimes they'll let you vent but won't actually listen. Sometimes they decide that you're a negative person in general just because you're stressed and have no proper outlet for your frustrations. Sometimes they just really don't care about what you're talking about and don't want to hear about it, even if you really need to talk about it.

So then to deal with this problem, you learn to not talk to your friends about things that bother you if they have nothing to do with them. You keep it to yourself to keep your friends happy (and to hopefully get them to stop calling you negative or bitter just because you were overwhelmed and stressed for a given amount of time).

Then your friends get upset with you for not sharing with them, for not trusting them. They feel hurt that you feel you can't talk to them. Or maybe they're upset because they don't want to be seen as a bad friend... it's always hard to tell.

It's an impossible, interesting, frustrating cycle.

I know I say it with every plan, but the more I think about it, the more excited I am about going for an MBA. I'm not concerned with power or authority or making more money. I just want to be able to put myself in a position in which I can actually make a difference and have a say.

Another day, another life plan

I came up with a new plan. I'm not really one to set plans in stone, but it's nice to have something to work toward. So for now, I'm thinking that I'll keep working and saving some money and start prepping to take the GMAT, and then I can start thinking about part-time MBA programs.

Words of wisdom from Mother Teresa

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered; Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God; It was never between you and them anyway.

-Mother Teresa

Chilean miners - true inspiration

The world might be full of sadness and corruption, but there is still an abundance of hope and compassion. 33 miners survived a mine explosion and remained trapped 2,300 ft. below ground for 69 days. Nobody even knew they were alive for the first 17 days - they managed to make 48 hours' worth of food last 17 days. They made all their decisions together, and they kept their spirits up. Every one of those miners is now safe. The 33rd just came up the rescue capsule. The whole world has been watching the last day as each one has resurfaced.

It is so amazing to have such a huge news event that is so positive. It's a truly inspirational story that boasts lessons of hope, faith, teamwork, compassion, and perseverance. I just can't get over how wonderful it is that each and every single miner made it out, and that all of them remained a team throughout the entire ordeal, even arranging a contract with a lawyer to ensure no one miner makes more money off the experience than the others.

Not all childhood dreams fade away

When I was little, I begged my parents to sign me up for ballet lessons. My dad once agreed to sign me up, but it never happened. I can't really blame them. I had a lot of interests as a kid (surprise, surprise, right?), and they couldn't sign me up for everything I wanted to try.

I was always disappointed that I never got to take ballet though. They even let me do figure skating for a while, but never ballet. I'm sure that had something to do with the fact that I already had Polish folk dancing, but that didn't make me feel any better, really.

Now that I'm 21 and all grown up (more or less), I still can't help but wish I had gotten to take ballet. I love Polish dancing, don't get me wrong, but I just feel like people don't really take that seriously. Not only that, but it just doesn't feel quite as graceful.

I also just feel like I could make more progress with some sort of official dance class. I love the group to pieces, but I get so frustrated with how slowly we have to take things, and I hate how sloppy some of the dances are (well, most of them, really). People just don't seem to care enough.

Anyway, there's nothing like a frustrating rehearsal to bring a girl back to her childhood dreams.

"Ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do.
Attitude determines how well you do it."

-Lou Holtz

An old poem from high school

My Meeting with the Sky

Before the sun rises over the earth
I rub away the sleep from my tired eyes
And with the youth and strength I gained at birth
Prepare for my meeting with the pure skies
The rhythmic pattern of my pounding feet
Slowly begins to match that of my heart
The harmony this brings is a real treat
Before the stress can tear my day apart
I feel as if I could float with the breeze
And glide gracefully through-out all of time
I'm all alone as I fly by the trees
And long-stemmed aromas right in their prime
My problems disappear in that short hour
And I become revived with all the power

It's about time I brush up on my "real" blogging skills

I now get to blog as part of my job, and I'm very excited about it. After a meeting and a few discussions, though, I realized that I seem to have separate standards for professional blogging and my personal blog.

Sooooo, since I needed to determine which blog site to use for the NOD blog, and since I needed to make sure I would be able to design it the way I want, I did a little re-vamping. I also decided to take better care of this personal blog.

Look at me using my college education. :)

I never thought I'd say it...

...but I really miss editing the Cardinal.

I know it was probably the most stressful and time-consuming responsibility I took on at SMU, and I got so sick of it by the end, but the truth is, it was one of my most rewarding experiences. The fact that I got past all the stress and that I ended up with a tangible result of all the time and effort I put in made it all worth it. I could look at the completed newspaper and feel the satisfaction of knowing my work actually did something. My decisions and instructions to others and attention to detail really served a purpose. I also loved that I was a leader. People turned to me for advice and for quick problem solving, and I had to answer. I had to think critically and put in 100% every time, knowing that the finished product would be seen by students, professors, staff, prospective students, administration, families, alumni, and trustees. There was also an added presure of knowing that I wasn't only representing myself. My name was not the only one on those pages. The rest of the Cardinal staff depended on the other editors and me to take the hard work they put in and present it in a clean, professional manner. When I made edits to stories, it affected the reputation of the writer more than my own. When I missed edits in stories, it did the same.

It might have been incredibly frustrating and downright daunting at times, but it was all for a clear purpose. There was a reason for every sleep-deprived minute I spent in that office. There was a reason for every hang-out opportunity I missed or every run I didn't have time for. I had priorities, and I had to manage my time and work efficiently. I had to stay on top of things and keep everyone else moving. I had to clearly communicate with the writers, editors, advisor, and anyone who was somehow impacted by a story. I had to make some pretty tough decisions, and I had to stand by them, even if I later realized they might not have been the best decisions.

I had to come up with new ideas, and I had to fairly deliberate the ideas of others. I had to tell people things they didn't want to hear, and I had to be persistent to get things accomplished in time. I also had to effectively work as a team with the other editors while still maintaining my authority in the few occasions in which that was necessary.

It was such a pain at times, but I gained so much from my time as a Cardinal editor. I thought I could happily say "good riddance" at the end of it, but I really miss that feeling I got when all was said and done and that paper was in my hands. Heck, sometimes I miss that gut-wrenching feeling that I got when it was getting down to the wire and I knew I had to do or finish something or the whole system would break down.

Even though I didn't end up working directly in the journalism field, I'm really glad I took on that responsibility and stuck with it after it drove me all but crazy.