I never thought I'd say it...

...but I really miss editing the Cardinal.

I know it was probably the most stressful and time-consuming responsibility I took on at SMU, and I got so sick of it by the end, but the truth is, it was one of my most rewarding experiences. The fact that I got past all the stress and that I ended up with a tangible result of all the time and effort I put in made it all worth it. I could look at the completed newspaper and feel the satisfaction of knowing my work actually did something. My decisions and instructions to others and attention to detail really served a purpose. I also loved that I was a leader. People turned to me for advice and for quick problem solving, and I had to answer. I had to think critically and put in 100% every time, knowing that the finished product would be seen by students, professors, staff, prospective students, administration, families, alumni, and trustees. There was also an added presure of knowing that I wasn't only representing myself. My name was not the only one on those pages. The rest of the Cardinal staff depended on the other editors and me to take the hard work they put in and present it in a clean, professional manner. When I made edits to stories, it affected the reputation of the writer more than my own. When I missed edits in stories, it did the same.

It might have been incredibly frustrating and downright daunting at times, but it was all for a clear purpose. There was a reason for every sleep-deprived minute I spent in that office. There was a reason for every hang-out opportunity I missed or every run I didn't have time for. I had priorities, and I had to manage my time and work efficiently. I had to stay on top of things and keep everyone else moving. I had to clearly communicate with the writers, editors, advisor, and anyone who was somehow impacted by a story. I had to make some pretty tough decisions, and I had to stand by them, even if I later realized they might not have been the best decisions.

I had to come up with new ideas, and I had to fairly deliberate the ideas of others. I had to tell people things they didn't want to hear, and I had to be persistent to get things accomplished in time. I also had to effectively work as a team with the other editors while still maintaining my authority in the few occasions in which that was necessary.

It was such a pain at times, but I gained so much from my time as a Cardinal editor. I thought I could happily say "good riddance" at the end of it, but I really miss that feeling I got when all was said and done and that paper was in my hands. Heck, sometimes I miss that gut-wrenching feeling that I got when it was getting down to the wire and I knew I had to do or finish something or the whole system would break down.

Even though I didn't end up working directly in the journalism field, I'm really glad I took on that responsibility and stuck with it after it drove me all but crazy.