Sunday, January 18, 2009

What am I so afraid of? What do I think is going to happen that would be so terrible? Why am I still building walls and keeping people at arm's length? I've never trusted my friends and family so much and known I could depend on them for anything. I've never been more secure with myself. Why am I still holding back? Why am I still so worried I'm going to get hurt and be left alone? I know that my friends have my back. I know I can trust them with absolutely anything. I know they won't ditch out or stop caring. I know that I have a true support system. I should feel, more than ever before, like I can try almost anything without worrying that my world will crash down around me. I've been through enough experiences to know that I can make it through all kinds of emotional stress. I can get through almost anything and not be entirely worse for the wear. I've learned to find a lesson in each experience. Now I need to learn to take chances and create new experiences. I've been sticking too close to my comfort zone. I tend to stick with only those things that I can control. I need to put myself in situations where I don't have total control. I need to learn to roll with the punches and think on my feet. I need to learn to trust even more than I have. I need to know that I'll still be okay if I'm not in charge. I need to learn not to be so afraid of such stupid, simple things that really shouldn't be all that scary.

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