Today my dad made a comment about me needing to find a boyfriend. I'm disappointed that's back. I'm sick of being made to feel like I need a boyfriend right now, because in reality, now's really not a good time for it. I'm already struggling to juggle schoolwork, my activities and commitments, work, and time with my friends. I would hate to not be able to devote enough time to everything else in order to add a relationship. They take a lot of time, especially in the beginning.

Besides, I still haven't met anyone that really meets my standards. I know I have pretty high standards, but I'm not going to just go out with anyone just for my own self-validation or to make my family happy. (Why it matter so much to them when I'm only 20, I'll never know.) I've gotten to the point where I don't have to worry as much about petty teenage high school drama when it comes to guys (there are always a few exceptions, of course), and I have a better idea of what I'll look for in a relationship. Yes, even without having been in one. Like I said, I won't just turn my life upside-down for someone I only sort of like just to make myself feel better about myself.

I have too much on my mind with graduating early and deciding I want to go to law school, and I'm having so much fun spending time with friends and figuring myself out. I've gotten so much more comfortable in my own skin since coming to college, and I've definitely grown a bit of a backbone. I'm getting better at standing up for myself, and I completely believe in my own capabilities. As cheesy as it sounds, I'm really growing and gaining more confidence here. I think that's really important for me right now, and I think it will help me in the future when I eventually end up in a relationship.

But that can wait.

(With that said, I think it's safe to say I'm over my most recent crush. Goodbye half of my drama from before break.)