There are definitely downsides to pursuing a career in journalism. Newspapers are lacking in subscriptions and laying people off. Reporters work long hours and weekends. Hours are inconsistent, and pay is not that great.
One of the reporters at the Winona Daily News came here from Pennsylvania because he couldn't find a reporting job there.
I graduate in a year and a half. With a degree in journalism.
I freaked out a bit and am looking at other options. I'm looking at publication companies... I did want to be a publisher at one point in time. I'm looking at many different kinds of jobs, different graduate degrees and programs, and different grad schools.
I love journalism and the idea of working for a newspaper, but I'm also absolutely terrified that I'm going to hate it or regret it. When I interviewed with my editor at the Daily News, his first question for me was, "why journalism?" He seemed so skeptical about the idea of someone choosing this career path.
I have skills that reach well beyond a newsroom. There is a lot I can do. I just have to figure out what it is I want to do and should do. I need to start thinking about career fairs and other kinds of internships. I need to think about taking the GRE and figuring out applications and money for grad school. I can't possibly think about saving up for a joy trip to Europe. That was a really irresponsible idea. It would be amazing, but it's just not possible.
I need to seriously buckle down and get to work. I need to make sure I'm making good decisions that will help me in the long run.
**On the bright side, Lily did some researching last night and found that our February break trip to Mexico next year could cost as little as $600 for airfare and hotel! That's a splurge I am definitely making room for in my plans (and I have over a year to save up for it).
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Sunday, December 28, 2008
I spent a lot of time today thinking about the stuff I still miss about high school (volleyball, speech, and AP Psych second semester with all my best friends). I don't miss high school at all. I would never want to go back. I just find myself occasionally thinking about things that defined my life back then that aren't even a part of my life now. I don't get sad about it anymore. I love things so much better the way they are now. It's just weird to me that the things I focussed on the most just disappeared after graduation (well, way before that even).
I love the things I'm finding out about myself now, and I love how much more confident I am. I love being able to try so many new things and being in so many different activities.
Most of all, I love my group of friends. I love that I've managed to find a group as crazy and random as I am. I'm glad I get to do all kinds of different things with them... we don't always just sit around watching tv or listening to music. We have dance parties, go to Perkins, hang out by the river, eat dessert in the back of a pickup truck, hike up to the rock, lay outside looking at the stars, and play in the snow. I love that I don't really have to feel stupid if I say something a little off. I love how much we laugh. I love how open I can be with them.
I had a great group of friends in high school too, but it felt a little more divided and had a little more drama. Plus, I couldn't help but be a little cautious with some of the things I said or wanted to do. I still love those girls a ton, but my college friends feel more like a family. We see each other ALL the time and eat lunch and dinner together. We're there for every little thing. It's just a little different.
I don't know. Somehow I managed to pick the absolute perfect college and am having exactly the experience I wanted, if not better. :)
I love the things I'm finding out about myself now, and I love how much more confident I am. I love being able to try so many new things and being in so many different activities.
Most of all, I love my group of friends. I love that I've managed to find a group as crazy and random as I am. I'm glad I get to do all kinds of different things with them... we don't always just sit around watching tv or listening to music. We have dance parties, go to Perkins, hang out by the river, eat dessert in the back of a pickup truck, hike up to the rock, lay outside looking at the stars, and play in the snow. I love that I don't really have to feel stupid if I say something a little off. I love how much we laugh. I love how open I can be with them.
I had a great group of friends in high school too, but it felt a little more divided and had a little more drama. Plus, I couldn't help but be a little cautious with some of the things I said or wanted to do. I still love those girls a ton, but my college friends feel more like a family. We see each other ALL the time and eat lunch and dinner together. We're there for every little thing. It's just a little different.
I don't know. Somehow I managed to pick the absolute perfect college and am having exactly the experience I wanted, if not better. :)
Life is good.
Today I slept until noon. Yesterday I slept until almost noon. I usually hate sleeping past 10 at the latest, but it felt really good to just lie in bed for a while.
I chatted with my sister a bit today. I love our random little chats. They mostly revolve around her and her life, but I'm okay with that. I like feeling like we can be friends. I already know that if we weren't sisters, we probably wouldn't be friends. I guess that's why it's a good thing we're sisters.
I had a really good conversation with my mom on Christmas Eve while we made uszki (like pierogi, but smaller and shaped like pig ears... they go in the barszcz- beet soup) for Wigilia (Christmas Eve dinner). I don't think I've had that good a conversation with my mom in years, if ever. I learned a lot about her. It was great.
I think this was one of the best Christmases of my life. Spending time with my mom was nice, and dinner with the whole family was great. I got through the food better than in previous years (we have to have a little bit of everything, including herring and saurkraut... and I hate both), and it felt like everyone got along a lot better than usual. Midnight mass was nice, and Christmas day was very relaxed. There weren't many gifts (though I did get a navigation thing for my car!), so we pretty much just hung out as a family. I also got to play Apples to Apples with my sister, dad, cousin, and uncle.
Today I helped Adrienne with her speech. It was a lot of fun... I definitely still miss competing a little bit. I'm glad she liked my topic idea though! When we read the book about the history of marriage at school, I was bummed I had never thought of the topic in high school. Now Adrienne gets to use it! I think she'll have a lot of fun with it.
I've decided that curling my hair is my new favorite thing.
I think I'm going to make cookies tomorrow... :)
Today I slept until noon. Yesterday I slept until almost noon. I usually hate sleeping past 10 at the latest, but it felt really good to just lie in bed for a while.
I chatted with my sister a bit today. I love our random little chats. They mostly revolve around her and her life, but I'm okay with that. I like feeling like we can be friends. I already know that if we weren't sisters, we probably wouldn't be friends. I guess that's why it's a good thing we're sisters.
I had a really good conversation with my mom on Christmas Eve while we made uszki (like pierogi, but smaller and shaped like pig ears... they go in the barszcz- beet soup) for Wigilia (Christmas Eve dinner). I don't think I've had that good a conversation with my mom in years, if ever. I learned a lot about her. It was great.
I think this was one of the best Christmases of my life. Spending time with my mom was nice, and dinner with the whole family was great. I got through the food better than in previous years (we have to have a little bit of everything, including herring and saurkraut... and I hate both), and it felt like everyone got along a lot better than usual. Midnight mass was nice, and Christmas day was very relaxed. There weren't many gifts (though I did get a navigation thing for my car!), so we pretty much just hung out as a family. I also got to play Apples to Apples with my sister, dad, cousin, and uncle.
Today I helped Adrienne with her speech. It was a lot of fun... I definitely still miss competing a little bit. I'm glad she liked my topic idea though! When we read the book about the history of marriage at school, I was bummed I had never thought of the topic in high school. Now Adrienne gets to use it! I think she'll have a lot of fun with it.
I've decided that curling my hair is my new favorite thing.
I think I'm going to make cookies tomorrow... :)
Thursday, December 25, 2008
$$$
I want to travel. I was supposed to go to Poland at least 3 times in the last 5 years and haven't. I could have gone to Costa Rica or Spain in high school but didn't. I planned on studying abroad in college but won't. I want to do the 3 weeks in Italy in May but can't. I would love to do the service trip to Africa this summer but know it's really not possible. I haven't been out of the country since Australia when I was 12. I haven't gone on a real out-of-state vacation since I was 13. I went to Biloxi, which was awesome. I want to do a few more service trips around the country before graduating. I was supposed to do so much more travelling by now. I won't get to do much once I'm working.
Speaking of, I'm starting to seriously worry about my career choice. I know I would make a really good copy editor, but I don't know if I could convince an employer to give me the chance to show it. I'm scared that I'll be stuck at small-town newspapers writing 7 days a week about small-town "news." I'm scared I'll have to struggle to make ends meet and that I'll never be able to afford the kinds of trips I want to take. I'm afraid I won't have time for my family... I'm afraid I won't make enough for it to be financially possible to have a big family. I'm suddenly worrying about big things that I've never really thought of before.
I love writing, and I love the idea of editing, but I'm starting to wonder if it's the best idea. I'd be good at it.... I'd be good at a lot of things, I think. I'm a hard worker and a fast learner. I'm just afraid I won't find a job where I'll be able to use my talents, be happy, and live comfortably. I want to be able to work hard while still having time for family and volunteering. I'll want to be able to go to kids' sports games and eat dinner as a family and help with homework. I know it's a long way off, but everything I do in the next 3 semesters will greatly affect my future.
I'm going to be working a lot more next semester, and I'll be saving up for spring break next year. I think I'm going to really work on saving in general. I'm going to be so much more responsible with my money. Part of me wants to try to save up enough for a trip to Europe after graduation before worrying about "real life." I think it would be worth it. I have plenty of clothes and can limit my shopping dramatically (after buying that one pair of boots I really want from Old Navy with the money I got from my grandma for Christmas). I know people don't generally like giving money for birthdays and Christmas, so I'll still have minor indulgences. I don't need to order pizza or Erbs&Gerbs as much, and I can do the whole water-only when going to Perkins with friends. I can be creative about hanging out with friends to try to avoid spending money. I can limit how often I go to Caribou. I can work as much as possible and spend as little as possible and try to save up enough for a post-graduation trip. I bet if I save up most of the money I could convince my parents (and probably my grandma) to help out a bit as a graduation present. I really just want to take advantage of being young and mostly worry-free while I can.
The only set-backs to the plan are: A) I'll have to spend a good amount on next year's spring break trip, and B) I probably won't be able to move out of my parents' house if I spend my money on Europe. I guess I'll just start saving and see where I am in about 17 months. (I'm graduating from college in just about 17 months.... Wow.)
I buy so much crap I don't need anyway. I won't completely restrict myself from buying stuff... that would only tempt me to spend more. I just like having a specific reason to save. Thinking "Europe" will be more effective than thinking "you don't really need it."
Of course, I also have to worry about school, scholarships, and loans.
Why does so much in life have to revolve around money?
On a brighter note, I had a fantastic Christmas! I really love spending time with my family, and it was nice to have a Christmas morning that didn't revolve around gifts. I think last night was my favorite Christmas Eve in a long time too. :)
Speaking of, I'm starting to seriously worry about my career choice. I know I would make a really good copy editor, but I don't know if I could convince an employer to give me the chance to show it. I'm scared that I'll be stuck at small-town newspapers writing 7 days a week about small-town "news." I'm scared I'll have to struggle to make ends meet and that I'll never be able to afford the kinds of trips I want to take. I'm afraid I won't have time for my family... I'm afraid I won't make enough for it to be financially possible to have a big family. I'm suddenly worrying about big things that I've never really thought of before.
I love writing, and I love the idea of editing, but I'm starting to wonder if it's the best idea. I'd be good at it.... I'd be good at a lot of things, I think. I'm a hard worker and a fast learner. I'm just afraid I won't find a job where I'll be able to use my talents, be happy, and live comfortably. I want to be able to work hard while still having time for family and volunteering. I'll want to be able to go to kids' sports games and eat dinner as a family and help with homework. I know it's a long way off, but everything I do in the next 3 semesters will greatly affect my future.
I'm going to be working a lot more next semester, and I'll be saving up for spring break next year. I think I'm going to really work on saving in general. I'm going to be so much more responsible with my money. Part of me wants to try to save up enough for a trip to Europe after graduation before worrying about "real life." I think it would be worth it. I have plenty of clothes and can limit my shopping dramatically (after buying that one pair of boots I really want from Old Navy with the money I got from my grandma for Christmas). I know people don't generally like giving money for birthdays and Christmas, so I'll still have minor indulgences. I don't need to order pizza or Erbs&Gerbs as much, and I can do the whole water-only when going to Perkins with friends. I can be creative about hanging out with friends to try to avoid spending money. I can limit how often I go to Caribou. I can work as much as possible and spend as little as possible and try to save up enough for a post-graduation trip. I bet if I save up most of the money I could convince my parents (and probably my grandma) to help out a bit as a graduation present. I really just want to take advantage of being young and mostly worry-free while I can.
The only set-backs to the plan are: A) I'll have to spend a good amount on next year's spring break trip, and B) I probably won't be able to move out of my parents' house if I spend my money on Europe. I guess I'll just start saving and see where I am in about 17 months. (I'm graduating from college in just about 17 months.... Wow.)
I buy so much crap I don't need anyway. I won't completely restrict myself from buying stuff... that would only tempt me to spend more. I just like having a specific reason to save. Thinking "Europe" will be more effective than thinking "you don't really need it."
Of course, I also have to worry about school, scholarships, and loans.
Why does so much in life have to revolve around money?
On a brighter note, I had a fantastic Christmas! I really love spending time with my family, and it was nice to have a Christmas morning that didn't revolve around gifts. I think last night was my favorite Christmas Eve in a long time too. :)
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
New Year's Eve might be two weeks away, but I already have my resolution. Instead of trying to change something about me, I'm going to work on loving myself the way I am. That's not to say I can't make changes. That doesn't mean I can't work out more. It just means I'm going to stop judging myself and start being totally, 100% comfortable with the way I look/act/am. I'm not even going to let myself make another resolution, because I really want to focus on this.
I'm halfway done with college. Three semesters down, three semesters to go. By this time next year, I'll be on my last Christmas vacation and preparing for my last semester. I'm both terrified and incredibly excited.
Sometimes I feel like I'm far too self-involved. I feel like there are things going on with my friends that I should be realizing sooner. I feel like I should listen more and pay more attention to the people around me. I always thought I was pretty good at this, but I've had a few reminders in the last few years that I'm not doing all that great a job. I hate the thought that people I care about are going through all kinds of shit and I have no idea.
On a similar note, sometimes I feel incredibly guilty for being so happy. I hate knowing that there are many people out there who are suffering, and I wish I could help them feel as happy and blessed as I feel. Sometimes I take it for granted, which makes me feel worse. I am so unbelievably lucky, and that's part of the reason why I made the resolution I did. I have no reason to be self-conscious and self-depricating. I have no reason to be angry about something as petty as my appearance. I'm getting a lot better about this. I no longer run as a punishment for myself or as an unpleasant way to try to lose weight. Now I run because I enjoy it and because it's a challenge. Anyway, I wish I could take my happiness and give it to someone who is struggling. I've been in that place where you hate yourself and everything connected to you. I got past it. I want to trade with someone who can't get past it. I want them to stop hurting and be as happy as I am while I pull myself out of their pain the way I learned to pull myself out. I guess the problem with that is that my pain was probably much smaller than most people's pain. It felt pretty low at the time, but I've grown up and gained some perspective. That was such a temporary unhappiness. I thought it was the end of the world, but it was barely even a thunderstorm. Meanwhile, people live with a hurricane's worth of pain. People downright drown in their own misery, and there seems to be nothing I can do about it. I can't even take my friends' hurt away for them.
How dare I gloat about how perfect my life is? How dare I complain about the cafeteria food at school? How dare I feel lonely and sad every now and then for no real reason? How dare I ask anyone for anything when I already have more than enough?
I think the worst thing about all of this is that I realize I should do something but still do nothing.
Sometimes I really disgust myself. (Not the same kind of disgust I'm avoiding with my resolution though.)
I wish I would take a risk. I wish I would really do something that would make some kind of difference. I wish I would stop being so selfish and spend more time thinking about ways to help other people.
I think I need to stop wishing and start acting...
I'm halfway done with college. Three semesters down, three semesters to go. By this time next year, I'll be on my last Christmas vacation and preparing for my last semester. I'm both terrified and incredibly excited.
Sometimes I feel like I'm far too self-involved. I feel like there are things going on with my friends that I should be realizing sooner. I feel like I should listen more and pay more attention to the people around me. I always thought I was pretty good at this, but I've had a few reminders in the last few years that I'm not doing all that great a job. I hate the thought that people I care about are going through all kinds of shit and I have no idea.
On a similar note, sometimes I feel incredibly guilty for being so happy. I hate knowing that there are many people out there who are suffering, and I wish I could help them feel as happy and blessed as I feel. Sometimes I take it for granted, which makes me feel worse. I am so unbelievably lucky, and that's part of the reason why I made the resolution I did. I have no reason to be self-conscious and self-depricating. I have no reason to be angry about something as petty as my appearance. I'm getting a lot better about this. I no longer run as a punishment for myself or as an unpleasant way to try to lose weight. Now I run because I enjoy it and because it's a challenge. Anyway, I wish I could take my happiness and give it to someone who is struggling. I've been in that place where you hate yourself and everything connected to you. I got past it. I want to trade with someone who can't get past it. I want them to stop hurting and be as happy as I am while I pull myself out of their pain the way I learned to pull myself out. I guess the problem with that is that my pain was probably much smaller than most people's pain. It felt pretty low at the time, but I've grown up and gained some perspective. That was such a temporary unhappiness. I thought it was the end of the world, but it was barely even a thunderstorm. Meanwhile, people live with a hurricane's worth of pain. People downright drown in their own misery, and there seems to be nothing I can do about it. I can't even take my friends' hurt away for them.
How dare I gloat about how perfect my life is? How dare I complain about the cafeteria food at school? How dare I feel lonely and sad every now and then for no real reason? How dare I ask anyone for anything when I already have more than enough?
I think the worst thing about all of this is that I realize I should do something but still do nothing.
Sometimes I really disgust myself. (Not the same kind of disgust I'm avoiding with my resolution though.)
I wish I would take a risk. I wish I would really do something that would make some kind of difference. I wish I would stop being so selfish and spend more time thinking about ways to help other people.
I think I need to stop wishing and start acting...
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Why do people only feel badly about how they treated someone after they feel sorry for them for something else? Why do people only feel absolutely terrible about a simple fight with a friend after learning she's been struggling with other problems? Why do people only feel a sense of responsibility for their actions when they feel pity for someone?
Why is it so much easier to blame yourself for something that is not your fault but causes great harm than it is to take the blam for something that is your fault but only causes little harm?
Why do some people go to drastic measures that other people would be terrified to attempt?
Why am I so comfortable enjoying my happy life full of everything I need and then some when I know there are so many people out there who do not have anything they need and would never even imagine having anything more than the bare necessities?
Why don't I try to do anything about any of this if it bothers me so much?
Why is it so much easier to blame yourself for something that is not your fault but causes great harm than it is to take the blam for something that is your fault but only causes little harm?
Why do some people go to drastic measures that other people would be terrified to attempt?
Why am I so comfortable enjoying my happy life full of everything I need and then some when I know there are so many people out there who do not have anything they need and would never even imagine having anything more than the bare necessities?
Why don't I try to do anything about any of this if it bothers me so much?
Friday, December 12, 2008
Day one of finals is over. My Geography final took half an hour... and I am done with that class forever. Thank goodness. I like geography, but I hated that class.
I got my take-home Spanish final done and had to sit through a 2-hour creepy Spanish movie because the professor takes university rules way too seriously. But it's ok, because I don't have to take Spanish again until next spring, and I won't ever have to take another Spanish lit. class.
Tomorrow I have no finals. I'm giving a tour in the morning and then doing some Christmas shopping. I have not done any shopping yet. It's going to be sad to see all my money go... haha.
Anyway... now I just have to finish my LCT paper and take my Media Law and Reporting II finals (which will pretty much be the same final). I hate that every semester has involved my last final being at 8am Tuesday. Whatever... I'm not necessarily in that big a rush to go home. I definitely can't wait though.
It's weird to think that after Tuesday I'll be exactly half done with college. 3 semesters down, only 3 more to go. This semester went sooo quickly, but last year feels like it was ages ago. I guess the beginning of the semester kind of feels like it was a long time ago... which is weird considering it feels like it went so fast.
Another thing that's weird is how different I feel. As the year goes I don't notice it so much, but whenever I stop and look back just a few months I find that I've changed so much. It's all for the better though, which is good. I feel much more confident and quite a bit more responsible... at least over myself. I'm finally starting to prioritize and manage my time better, and I'm learning just how much I'd rather be involved than have a lot of free time. I'm getting better at not letting things bother me, and when they do I let them go much faster. I think more about my actions, and I really try to think before I speak. I'm getting better at demanding attention and respect... except with my family... though that's pretty much hopeless for the next 20 years or so. I'm also having a lot more fun. I've learned the comfort of a good conversation. I've learned to respect the things others do for my benefit. I've learned I will need to know how to cook next year because I can't stand the cafeteria food anymore.
I don't know. I guess I just feel more grown up. At least while I'm here, where others treat me like I'm more grown up.
I do have a new pet-peeve though. I hate the excuse, "I didn't remember because I wasn't really listening when you asked me to." That one's really insulting.
Overall though, I think I'm very happy with the changes of the last few months.
I got my take-home Spanish final done and had to sit through a 2-hour creepy Spanish movie because the professor takes university rules way too seriously. But it's ok, because I don't have to take Spanish again until next spring, and I won't ever have to take another Spanish lit. class.
Tomorrow I have no finals. I'm giving a tour in the morning and then doing some Christmas shopping. I have not done any shopping yet. It's going to be sad to see all my money go... haha.
Anyway... now I just have to finish my LCT paper and take my Media Law and Reporting II finals (which will pretty much be the same final). I hate that every semester has involved my last final being at 8am Tuesday. Whatever... I'm not necessarily in that big a rush to go home. I definitely can't wait though.
It's weird to think that after Tuesday I'll be exactly half done with college. 3 semesters down, only 3 more to go. This semester went sooo quickly, but last year feels like it was ages ago. I guess the beginning of the semester kind of feels like it was a long time ago... which is weird considering it feels like it went so fast.
Another thing that's weird is how different I feel. As the year goes I don't notice it so much, but whenever I stop and look back just a few months I find that I've changed so much. It's all for the better though, which is good. I feel much more confident and quite a bit more responsible... at least over myself. I'm finally starting to prioritize and manage my time better, and I'm learning just how much I'd rather be involved than have a lot of free time. I'm getting better at not letting things bother me, and when they do I let them go much faster. I think more about my actions, and I really try to think before I speak. I'm getting better at demanding attention and respect... except with my family... though that's pretty much hopeless for the next 20 years or so. I'm also having a lot more fun. I've learned the comfort of a good conversation. I've learned to respect the things others do for my benefit. I've learned I will need to know how to cook next year because I can't stand the cafeteria food anymore.
I don't know. I guess I just feel more grown up. At least while I'm here, where others treat me like I'm more grown up.
I do have a new pet-peeve though. I hate the excuse, "I didn't remember because I wasn't really listening when you asked me to." That one's really insulting.
Overall though, I think I'm very happy with the changes of the last few months.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
I'm getting a lot better at calling strangers and at leaving messages! Yay for growing up :)
I could be making flashcards for my Geography final right now. No, I should be doing that. I shouldn't wait to squeeze it in tomorrow when the final is Friday morning and I have two papers to write. I get bored making flashcards though. Maybe I'll make them during class... it's a dull class. It's the only one I have left for the semester!!
So I decided it wasn't my bed that was keeping me awake all semester because I couldn't sleep at home or at Kelli and Molly's either. I decided it wasn't the caffeine because today was my first time drinking coffee in over a week and I have not gone to bed before 1am since I got back from Thanksgiving break. Last night I decided that I just think too much. (No need to make jokes. I do too think.) I just lie in bed thinking about all kinds of things that I don't have time to think about during the day. I feel a need to sort through my thoughts, so I just think and anticipate. I'm not really sure how to fix it. I'll lie there for a good hour or two expecting that I will eventually drift off if I keep my eyes closed, but it just doesn't work.
Oh well. College students are supposed to have irregular, unhealthy sleep patterns, right?
I could be making flashcards for my Geography final right now. No, I should be doing that. I shouldn't wait to squeeze it in tomorrow when the final is Friday morning and I have two papers to write. I get bored making flashcards though. Maybe I'll make them during class... it's a dull class. It's the only one I have left for the semester!!
So I decided it wasn't my bed that was keeping me awake all semester because I couldn't sleep at home or at Kelli and Molly's either. I decided it wasn't the caffeine because today was my first time drinking coffee in over a week and I have not gone to bed before 1am since I got back from Thanksgiving break. Last night I decided that I just think too much. (No need to make jokes. I do too think.) I just lie in bed thinking about all kinds of things that I don't have time to think about during the day. I feel a need to sort through my thoughts, so I just think and anticipate. I'm not really sure how to fix it. I'll lie there for a good hour or two expecting that I will eventually drift off if I keep my eyes closed, but it just doesn't work.
Oh well. College students are supposed to have irregular, unhealthy sleep patterns, right?
I should be sleeping... it's almost 2am... but I can't sleep. I have way too much on my mind. At least I don't have class until 11:10 tomorrow... plus it's the last day of classes.
Why do girls get so stupid over guys? Why do guys get that much control? Are girls really that self-conscious? I mean, even some of the most confident, independent girls start to doubt themselves over guys. Even some of the most loyal and trustworthy girls will blow off their friends to hang out with a guy, even if the guy has no problem canceling or shortening plans to hang out with his friends. It's so disappointing to think that someone can be so self-sufficient one month, saying that guys shouldn't control our lives and that she might not even want to get married because she's too independent to be bogged down, and then start hanging out with a guy and throwing her whole philosophy out the window. I understand that new relationships are tricky and that it's important to spend a lot of time together to get to know each other, but a girl should never push her friends down to second string over a guy she just started dating. It's obvious to your friends when you try to sidestep plans. It's obvious when you don't commit to plans in case the guy is free. It's not cool to say you can hang out with us and the guy if you spend all your time with us preoccupied about leaving as early as you can to hang out with him. It's disappointing that you lie. It's disappointing that you lose so much of your confidence in yourself because you need this guy to like you. It's disappointing that you'd rather spend every day left of the semester with him than with us. It's disappointing that this is happening with someone I never would have expected it from. It's disappointing that you're not the only one who gets like this.
I'm almost glad that I haven't been in a relationship yet because I've needed to work on my confidence and self-esteem. Now that I'm comfortable in my own skin, I think I could better handle being in a relationship. I really hope I don't blow off my friends once I'm dating someone. I can't imagine doing that, but it happens so often that it almost has me worried it'll happen against my own will or something.
Well, I just refuse to let that happen. Once I eventually get into a relationship, I am going to make a conscious effort to manage my time between the guy and my friends. I mean, guys come and go, but your friends will always be there. As long as you don't constantly blow them off, I suppose...
Why do girls get so stupid over guys? Why do guys get that much control? Are girls really that self-conscious? I mean, even some of the most confident, independent girls start to doubt themselves over guys. Even some of the most loyal and trustworthy girls will blow off their friends to hang out with a guy, even if the guy has no problem canceling or shortening plans to hang out with his friends. It's so disappointing to think that someone can be so self-sufficient one month, saying that guys shouldn't control our lives and that she might not even want to get married because she's too independent to be bogged down, and then start hanging out with a guy and throwing her whole philosophy out the window. I understand that new relationships are tricky and that it's important to spend a lot of time together to get to know each other, but a girl should never push her friends down to second string over a guy she just started dating. It's obvious to your friends when you try to sidestep plans. It's obvious when you don't commit to plans in case the guy is free. It's not cool to say you can hang out with us and the guy if you spend all your time with us preoccupied about leaving as early as you can to hang out with him. It's disappointing that you lie. It's disappointing that you lose so much of your confidence in yourself because you need this guy to like you. It's disappointing that you'd rather spend every day left of the semester with him than with us. It's disappointing that this is happening with someone I never would have expected it from. It's disappointing that you're not the only one who gets like this.
I'm almost glad that I haven't been in a relationship yet because I've needed to work on my confidence and self-esteem. Now that I'm comfortable in my own skin, I think I could better handle being in a relationship. I really hope I don't blow off my friends once I'm dating someone. I can't imagine doing that, but it happens so often that it almost has me worried it'll happen against my own will or something.
Well, I just refuse to let that happen. Once I eventually get into a relationship, I am going to make a conscious effort to manage my time between the guy and my friends. I mean, guys come and go, but your friends will always be there. As long as you don't constantly blow them off, I suppose...
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
The semester is almost over! Two classes to go before finals! I just have two papers to write, and I'm not worried about my finals. This is the least amount of stress I've felt in weeks. :)
I don't have a final in LCT, my Spanish final is a take-home essay (one of those papers I mentioned), and my Geography final is just a regular test... and I've been doing really well on those. My Reporting II and Media Law finals are actual cumulative finals, but they'll be almost the same test. They're taught by the same professor and cover a lot of the same information. Plus, I've calculated that if I get 0 out of 100 on my Media Law final I'll finish the class with a C. A 50 out of 100 will give me an AB in the class. So I'm not worried.
We played in the snow last night! It was so much fun! Even when I got snow up my shirt I was fine. It was awesome. I'm in such a great mood! I'm tired, but I'm happy.
Work shouldn't be too bad tonight. A lot of the schools we cover were closed today, so there shouldn't be as many calls. Ok scratch that... my boss just called and I don't even have to go in tonight. Sweet.
Next semester is going to be insane. Seriously. I'm taking 17 credits instead of 15, plus 2 gym classes (one for the first half of the semester and the other the second half), work will be more busy with more sports going on, I'll be even more involved with the school paper, and I'll be coaching speech at Cotter. I'll hopefully have time to give more tours too. Oh, and we'll be planning the benefit dance. Wow that's even more than I thought. Oh well, I'll worry about that later.
As for now, I'm going to enjoy my free time :)
I don't have a final in LCT, my Spanish final is a take-home essay (one of those papers I mentioned), and my Geography final is just a regular test... and I've been doing really well on those. My Reporting II and Media Law finals are actual cumulative finals, but they'll be almost the same test. They're taught by the same professor and cover a lot of the same information. Plus, I've calculated that if I get 0 out of 100 on my Media Law final I'll finish the class with a C. A 50 out of 100 will give me an AB in the class. So I'm not worried.
We played in the snow last night! It was so much fun! Even when I got snow up my shirt I was fine. It was awesome. I'm in such a great mood! I'm tired, but I'm happy.
Work shouldn't be too bad tonight. A lot of the schools we cover were closed today, so there shouldn't be as many calls. Ok scratch that... my boss just called and I don't even have to go in tonight. Sweet.
Next semester is going to be insane. Seriously. I'm taking 17 credits instead of 15, plus 2 gym classes (one for the first half of the semester and the other the second half), work will be more busy with more sports going on, I'll be even more involved with the school paper, and I'll be coaching speech at Cotter. I'll hopefully have time to give more tours too. Oh, and we'll be planning the benefit dance. Wow that's even more than I thought. Oh well, I'll worry about that later.
As for now, I'm going to enjoy my free time :)
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
My Sucky Day
Today sucked... and it's not getting any better.
I don't have class until 11:10 on Wednesdays, so I planned on getting some homework done before that. I didn't get out of bed until almost 10. I then got an email telling me that I did not get the Star Tribune internship I wanted so badly. Then came lunch... I canceled my usual lunch plans to eat with a friend I don't talk to a lot whose birthday was on Monday. She said to meet at 1:15. I texted her at 1:19 and she said she was home (in the cities) and forgot we'd had plans. I almost had to eat alone, but another friend came around 1:30, so I ate with her. I went to check mail and actually had something from home, but it was just a scholarship check I forgot. Then I went to brush the snow off my car with my mittens (I didn't realize until I was leaving home that I bought the car in the summer and didn't have a brush). I had to scrape off ice with a CD case, which snapped in half. I moved my car about half an hour before I was technically allowed to and went to edit the paper for 20 minutes before class. 2:55 Geography... no explanation needed (but I did get an A on my paper!). Then it was back to editing. I missed dinner with my friends and had to eat in the Pub, which actually turned out ok... Kelli and Lily were in there. I'm skipping my FAC meeting because we were never told where (or when exactly) the meeting is. I came back and went to put my iced frappucino thing in the fridge and realized I never turned my fridge back on when I got back on Monday... and I had food in there. Now I have to finish a Spanish essay test and put together an entire Spanish presentation/Power Point on the Spanish Civil War. I wanted to go to the free Wednesday night movie ("The Dark Knight") at 9 tonight, but that won't happen. I also found out I have to work the night of the Finals Midnight Breakfast thing (the staff serve breakfast at 10pm on Study Day), and I have to work right after the Mocktail Party, which I have to go to for Senate.
The bright side: once tomorrow is over the only thing I have to worry about is my Geography "paper" on Hawaii, and I'll only have to go to Reporting II for 10-15 minutes tomorrow because it's a work day and I have everything done.
I don't have class until 11:10 on Wednesdays, so I planned on getting some homework done before that. I didn't get out of bed until almost 10. I then got an email telling me that I did not get the Star Tribune internship I wanted so badly. Then came lunch... I canceled my usual lunch plans to eat with a friend I don't talk to a lot whose birthday was on Monday. She said to meet at 1:15. I texted her at 1:19 and she said she was home (in the cities) and forgot we'd had plans. I almost had to eat alone, but another friend came around 1:30, so I ate with her. I went to check mail and actually had something from home, but it was just a scholarship check I forgot. Then I went to brush the snow off my car with my mittens (I didn't realize until I was leaving home that I bought the car in the summer and didn't have a brush). I had to scrape off ice with a CD case, which snapped in half. I moved my car about half an hour before I was technically allowed to and went to edit the paper for 20 minutes before class. 2:55 Geography... no explanation needed (but I did get an A on my paper!). Then it was back to editing. I missed dinner with my friends and had to eat in the Pub, which actually turned out ok... Kelli and Lily were in there. I'm skipping my FAC meeting because we were never told where (or when exactly) the meeting is. I came back and went to put my iced frappucino thing in the fridge and realized I never turned my fridge back on when I got back on Monday... and I had food in there. Now I have to finish a Spanish essay test and put together an entire Spanish presentation/Power Point on the Spanish Civil War. I wanted to go to the free Wednesday night movie ("The Dark Knight") at 9 tonight, but that won't happen. I also found out I have to work the night of the Finals Midnight Breakfast thing (the staff serve breakfast at 10pm on Study Day), and I have to work right after the Mocktail Party, which I have to go to for Senate.
The bright side: once tomorrow is over the only thing I have to worry about is my Geography "paper" on Hawaii, and I'll only have to go to Reporting II for 10-15 minutes tomorrow because it's a work day and I have everything done.
I'm having one of those days where one thing doesn't go my way and suddenly I'm doubting everything.
I didn't get the internship at the Star Tribune. I'm sending my application for the internship at the Pioneer Press today, but I really wanted to get the one at the Strib. Now I'm even more nervous about the personal statement I have to write for the Press. I'm also so much more nervous about graduating next year and trying to find a job at a paper. I really want to work at a bigger daily.
I hope it's not too late to apply for the Washington, D.C. internship my advisor told me about earlier this year. I'd have to pay for it, but it would definitely be worth it. He wasn't in his office when I went to talk to him, so I'll have to wait to find out about that.
There's also an internship at WCCO or MPR if I want to check out broadcast, but you'd think preference would go to people majoring in broadcast. Besides, the WCCO one doesn't pay. I know nothing about the MPR one; my dad just told me about it.
I was never really worried about finding work as a journalist, but now I'm absolutely terrified.
I didn't get the internship at the Star Tribune. I'm sending my application for the internship at the Pioneer Press today, but I really wanted to get the one at the Strib. Now I'm even more nervous about the personal statement I have to write for the Press. I'm also so much more nervous about graduating next year and trying to find a job at a paper. I really want to work at a bigger daily.
I hope it's not too late to apply for the Washington, D.C. internship my advisor told me about earlier this year. I'd have to pay for it, but it would definitely be worth it. He wasn't in his office when I went to talk to him, so I'll have to wait to find out about that.
There's also an internship at WCCO or MPR if I want to check out broadcast, but you'd think preference would go to people majoring in broadcast. Besides, the WCCO one doesn't pay. I know nothing about the MPR one; my dad just told me about it.
I was never really worried about finding work as a journalist, but now I'm absolutely terrified.
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